perhaps it's a little funny,
how i often imagined myself going for missions as a sec 2,
haha,
the chance to have been the youngest 'mission-trip-goer'
together with kester.

oh well,
2 years on,
and i'm perhaps less excited,
instead bogged down with concerns,
and stuff which a 'sec 4 kid shouldn't be worrying about'

pilgrims and strangers.

the sheer complexity of it all, haha. it's been really strange though, hearing XL say, '...what? how can you not do anything next year, ur a*****, you're never free, you've always got something to do...' haha, right.

perhaps that's why acjc's so appealing,
the chance to start off afresh,
without commitments,
expectations to live up to,
the chance to truly be just 'a regular dude'
not the extra-kia we all know;
time perhaps to view things in perspective
and to focus on the eternal,
haha,
the chance to be just 'another student'
and not having to burn my holidays doing crappy stuff,
which i've been all so used to for the past 4 years.

but then again, i'd just be a runner,
'stay here with us and survive ib lah',
opting to just leave every thing behind,

in anycase,
i'd suppose it's too late anyway,
and i'm resigned towards staying,
armed with a different outlook (of sorts)

who knows what the tide may bring